I am bummed!!!!!!So bummed!!!!!Oh, my dream was just washed away by a wave of reality.
I hate reality...It sneaks behind you, and before you know your dream is snatched away.
Lately I had been envisioning myself as a famous author, as in a writer, a person who writes books, in the lines of Nicholas Sparks meets Elizabeth Gilbert and have tea with Charles Dickens sort of way. How beautiful it was, the talks I had with my imaginary people, the ideas I had for my successful books. I dream big my friends, I don't dream dreams like, "oh, yeah I will write a book and then try really hard to be published." Nope I KNEW I was going to be published, and I KNEW my book was going to be a success, when it was written of course.
I was going to be featured on The New York Times as the most promising young author of our generation, my picture was gonna be on one of those advertisement boards, and what was that smell I was smelling?????? PULITZER( I´d be happy with a Newberry Award too).
Who knows, maybe one day my book would be a major motion picture and I would see my lovely characters come to life. The possibilities were infinite, if it was not for 3 little reasons:
1) I totally missed the point of what it means to write
2) I was way out there over myself and my own dreams, forgetting my capacities and just thinking about success.
3) I read an Anne Lamott book about writing and it slapped me in the face to wake me up from my delirium.
Maybe one day I will be a published author, maybe I won´t ever publish a book, maybe I will publish one and it will be crap, but besides anything if I just get to write, that alone should make me happy. I have a lot of good ideas, of that I am aware and I won't ne humble about it because I know my capacities on that specific area, but actually sitting down and getting them to paper it is a whole different story, and I am far, far away from being a great writer, I need to build callus. Today almost any asshole with connections(and even sometimes without them) gets published, and becomes a bestseller, I have read some of those books and they make me sick. I can only imagine Shakespeare revolving in his grave. I would often thought if some books like that can get published so could I. What lame train of thought, I want to be published because I am GOOD and have POTENTIAL, not because my books are a little better than those crappy ones.
Now that my airs of grandeur have been slapped by my friend reality i am ready to work my butt off on this. Nothing like hard work to really make you realize what success should taste like.And even if it never happens, what a great adventure to write about..."The Unpublished Author" or "Memoirs of an Unpublished Author" hahaha something really funny would sure come out of it.
I am not completely in love with this Reality that has spoiled my dream like this, I was happy dreaming it every night, but I don't hate it either. I needed that slap.
This "famous" author here needs to go pack for camping, because I am not "famous" enough to have somebody do it for me yet.
Tell you all about my camping when I come back, pray we see a leopard:P
Au Revoir
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