And My Soul Is Torn In Two!

I am back from having tea at one of my African ladies house! I had a lovely time, I never had such great ginger tea ever.I made a nice good-bye card, drew myself near Mt.Meru, kind of like I was hiking and the green, green grass below me, the grass that will surface after the rains fall. On the back I wrote see you soon(in Swahili), inside I wrote in English and in Kiswahili the same message and I was as excited as a 5 year old making mamma a gift, actually my card looked like a 5 year old had made it, my art senses were never very good. My African lady loved it and I felt so warm and fuzzy inside about it.
She made us all ginger tea and we all sat around sipping tea and chatting, then the little boys(her two sons and one of the neighbor's kids) prayed for Mr. B's back that has been hurting forever and I thought that was just so cute, but then my lady said she wanted to pray for me. I don't understand squat of Swahili if someone is talking quite fast, but something inside me was all emotional and I cried, I cried because I love her, I cried because I am leaving, I cried because Africa changed me, I cried because I don't know when I'll be back again, I cried because no matter what the circumstances of her life might be this lady had invited me into her home for tea, someone she just met, someone she has no idea how she changed,a mzungu, I just cried.
SO my soul is torn in two! It wants to go to Portugal and hug friends, family, smell the ocean, run on the paredão, watch the sunset at the beach, sleep in my bed with all my windows open, but it also wants to jump on the trampoline, feel the warm dirt under my feet, smell the rain, go camping and hiking, make ugali and cabbage with the ladies and sing.
I have ambivalent feelings and that is something I am not quite used to. I am the love or hate kind of person, no inbetween's, no loving two things or people exactly the same.
Here I am 3 days before going home with deep sadness, and deep happiness too.
Life is funny sometimes, God does have a twisted sense of humor, what can I do but laugh despite of myself?
This is not my good-bye post yet, it was just a moment, one more moment in the bigger picture of my time here.
Africa is where I feel closer to God, where I saw God, where I felt God.
That thought alone will strike everyone as odd. I say, come to Africa and you will see!
Africa, kwa heri ya kuonana!!!!!