Friendship

I have been pondering on friendship for quite a while these past days. So much happening such, big changes, so I have to somehow digest all of this and the best way to do that is to sit on my washer that is right by my window while watching people go about their lives I ponder on mine.
You would think friendship would be easy to understand, easy to care for, easy to live with, but like almost everything that involves dealing with people it is not that simple. Long gone are the times I thought that friendships really did last forever as long as they were real. Believe me I learned that one the hard way.
I am not saying that change isn't sometimes...well...necessary, but there will be some attitudes that neither will I forget or understand.
On these past few months I have made new friends, become better friends with old friends and lost some friends(these being the friends I thought I would never lose).
I remember when my best friend went to Minnessota for a whole year, we were inseparable since I don't know when. Every single adventure, boy, fun time, sad moment, we lived it all together, I thought I would never survive without her. I did!
It was a year of tears and laughter and Skype conversations, but we made it and then in a jiffy she was back and it was awkward.
We were happy to see eachtoher and to be reunited, but it felt strange, different and we didn't really know how to readapt to eachother. On that one year she had lived innumerous things, seen different things that I wasn't a part of, and we grew two separate ways. I am not going to lie and say ti was ok, because it wasn't. It hurt me deeply and I remeber crying over it, thinking we would never be able to be best friends again. Quite pathethic when I actually think about it.
We are friends, we still share secrets and laughter, we yell at eachtoher when we have to and we still have sleepovers that are wild, but it is a calmer friendship, thats the best way I can describe it. I don't need to be around her all the time, or call her all the time to know that she is there and she loves me and I have a friend. I guess it is a grown up friendship!
I think that is a process, a good process, a growing process. It took time, faith and a lot of tears, some raw truth and a lot of love, but we managed and I doubt anything could ever break this bond, at least I hope and pray so. I don't take it for granted...
Now some friendships are not like this. There are some people in our lives that we think will never fail us..EVER...and then they do. Not necessarily fail you in the whole sense of the word, but fall short of your exepectations as friends.
~Maybe it was just too much work, maybe it was not worth it, maybe, maybe, maybe.
It hurts and it is a crappy feeling to have.
These kinds of friends, and people for that matter, make me sad, and I pity them. I am quite done with them when I sense this is what is happening.
There is only so much you can do on your side to make it work and thank God, friends are the one thing I am not lacking.
We move on and we let go and we learn a new lesson.