I tend to have these terrible panic attacks when confronted with the reality of my situation and this morning after a meeting with my boss I just had one of them.
I have been working, thinking I was going to receive an amount in my paycheck and it turns out I was mistaken. At a moment where my life is having major changes, when I have more things to pay than money I make, I freak out, literally as in yelling and pulling my hair, crying and wanting to kill myself sort of way.
Just this end of month I am moving houses, having to pay things that I had no idea I had to pay and working a demanding job that despite all I truly love.
I don't know how other people do it.
Everyone talks about how we are going through hard times, I feel them in my bank account every pay day, and I just don't know how people manage.
I have been so good about so much these 4 years I have lived on my own, but at this moment in my life all I want to do is slip under a rock and disappear.
The world is one big scary place to be right now. Especially if you are alone.
Everywhere I turn it seems either you are married and have someone to share house and debts with, or you,pardon the expression, are screwed!
I guess by my own standards I am pretty SCREWED...
Money makes my head hurt, but I also cannot simply live without money, so...Well I guess I will figure it out, not all is bad. I have a pretty new house to move into near everything and it's cozy and cute and I am happy about it, because I get to call it my own. Finally! Yay!
It will be a whole new sacrifice, but a very welcomed one.
Lunch hour over, gotta go meltdown over paperwork.
Me
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