Sometimes Crap Turns Into New Sweet Smelling Opportunities

I FAILED my driving exam!!!!In a terrible way!
I could write about all the reasons why it was not my fault, or why it was unfair and how crappy my exam guy was, but that is just dumb I don't do shifting the blame. I failed...PERIOD!
I tried ddesperatly not to cry, crying is already sad when you are 22, but in front of the person who failed you is even worse, and just because you failed does not mean you have to make the other person taking the test nervous.
My test strated in all the wrong ways possible.I was pretty nervous and it started on the wrong foot, but I tried my best(my best under the circumstances i.e. Rain, traffic,being in a exam and having a strager evaluate me).I do not want to go into detail because it was just plain hell.
I was happy the other girl passed, it was her second time and she really needs her license to take her daughters to school, I automatically liked her. I made a friend(point one of bad turning into good).
When I sat down having my good cry near the car, while my instructor and the girl went to the school these really nice men that work for the county as gardeners came to cheer me up.
I like being cheered up, everyone does, but they were really nice(point two, more strangers whom I befriend in the strangest times in my life)
Talking about this and that I got more connections,for work and stuff, so if my day was already crap why not try some selling????
Great idea! I sell that's my job and I have a pain in the ass of a boss who wants to see deadlines met and money made, so since I had to get my butt out of bed at 6 am(who goes driving for 2 hrs before a exam???) I decided I could not lose it all.
Guy with connections plus girl who needs to keep job equals success!!!!
They made me laugh and they made me smile and they made me see the bright side of my crappy day!
I am leaving for work right now and I am feeling a little better and I hope I will sell a lot more, because I have to go retake that test,soon.
I have a car yelling my name!!!!
Opportunity is always around if you take the time to find it, and sometimes it is nearer than what you think.
Thank you Senhores da EMAC!!!!

The Loveliness Of A Stressful Work

Back to the reality of working my butt off.
I love my new job, for those of you who have not heard me talk about it. I sell!
I love selling, I have been selling since I first started to work when I was 17. It is a demanding job, but now even more so. I have weird schedules, I knock at all these different doors, I meet new people and I walk kilometers every day.
The time I have left I sleep, eat, and try to hangout, which sometimes ends up with me on the verge of puking with exaustion. I am back in the game!
I miss the sun and heat of Africa everyday, Portugal still has remnants of the Winter, but I also love the fact that returning to my routine has not killed me.
I don´t have a lot of time off, and yesterday I got home at midnight, but I have adjusted to it, like a glove to a hand.
My fears of coming back were a little settled and this job has really lifted my spirits up. It has the right amount of stress, demand, fun and work to be really good for me. We have a great team, with some really great potential.
Wish me luck...

I know my posts have been quite short and a little off the deep end, but soon I will be able to sit down and organize my writing life, so be patient with me I am trying to make a living here.lol
I will see you soon...hopefully.

Me

There´s No Place Like Home

Back in sunny Portugal!!!
The trip back home was filled with beautiful landscape, new friendships, a lot of movies and some running to catch planes.
The shuttle trip was amazing, I enjoyed it, it gave me the time I needed to settle my ideas and to prepare my heart for the culture shock I was going to experience.
In the in betweeen there was still time to make a new friend. Not even with my headphones on and trying hard not to befriend anyone am I capable of not being social. I amaze myself.
My heart started longing for Africa the moment we left home, but in it I also felt this little pang of excitement about seeing my boyfriend, my friends, the ocean!
It was a lovely moment when we landed in Portugal, to see the ocean, the familiar places, the bridges. My heart felt glad even though I was trying to conceal it.
Seeing my friends and boyfriend at the airpot was also a good thing, I was shaking from all the missing and the longing and the missing and the longing.
The moment I landed and turned my phone on it started ringing and I was back to being a social butterfly. Some things never change.
We made it with only losing one bag, so that was good and I had a hard time trying to get back to my portuguese all I could think about was English and Swahili!
I guess I had missed my home here more than I ever thought, I missed my bed, and my cat. It was really nice to go into my nice tidy room in which I had not slept in two months.
I guess in more than one way I am happy to be here.
I guess slowly but surely I will get back into my routine, with only a few changes like waking up earlier to have my tea, and maybe having a few moments off in my day to contemplate the beauty around me.
Africa is carved in my heart, it will always be, my sould craves it, but the time to return is not now, or in a few months, but until I do, I have my memories to warm my heart and to make my sould glad.
There is no place like home! And home is where the heart is!
My only problem is my heart has a mind of it´s own!
Fot thr moment I am happy I am here, right now, for such a moment as this!
Oh the possibilities!!!!!

P.S. For a while I might not write anything do not worry, I will be back to my writing soon.

I Don't Know Where The Time Has Gone, But I Sure Know We Had A Lot Of Fun

When I got here from Portugal I was happy to see my friends, but not happy, happy inside me. I had had the 2 most awful months of my life and was still wondering if coming to Africa had been my most brilliant idea. I am sure that at the time if my friends had not pressured me to come and I did not have my boyfriend drive me to the airport I would just simply not come. I was scared, confused, sad, and the voices in my head (don't worry they don't tell me to do any bad things): P kept on asserting the fact that I was stupid, dumb, an idiot, worthless, it was pretty bad I must say.
I spent six weeks here of glorious fun and it started the very next day after my arrival. I felt useful because I was helping Heather with her home school and I was doing what I loved. I learned so much about people, about myself, about life and especially about Africa.

10 things I learned about myself, others and Africa:

1.I’m tougher than I think (for someone who is not a camping person I did better than I thought on our 5 day camping trip)
2.Swahili is one of the easiest languages to learn
3.I learned to cook from my African ladies typically African food
4.After a rain you can see the top of a mountain way better
5.I learned that my fears are most time a lie my brain wants me to believe
6.I learned breakfast is a sacred moment of peace for one's mind, body, soul and tummy
7.Bargain really works and it is not bad
8.People are so friendly in Africa
9.There is nothing more beautiful than an African sunset or sunrise
10.I fell in love with Africa

When my friend J. first went to India I thought he had gone insane. Why could he not be normal like everybody else? Why did he have to go to INDIA to rest, find himself, or whatever? I mean I was not too happy, I was not going to have my annoying best friend near me for 5 weeks, I was scared something bad might happen to him, and well you get the picture I was being one selfish brat (I tend to do that and only realize later, I don't mean to be selfish, but I end up being anyway). When I made up my mind to come to Tanzania, he was my first supporter in every sense of the word, he cheered me, supported me and gave me money to come on this trip; he knew something I did not. He knew that sometimes you have to go far to find yourself within and learn how to appreciate yourself, others and home by being somewhere completely different than Home.
Did I find myself? I am not sure; I like to think I did.
I have been laughing, and smiling, and jumping on the trampoline and camping and for goodness sake hiking, so I like to think that if I did not find myself at least something in me changed. I think a lot in me changed actually I realized I had been living in my past instead of my present, that I was holding a grudge against the world, that I liked to make myself feel older than I really am, that most of the fears I had had something to do with things that happened back in the day and that I was not letting go of a bunch of things so I could not move forward. I re-found my passion for writing, while I was here too, I had forgotten how happy writing makes me feel, no matter how crappy it might be, I knitted, three scarves with no mistakes or holes in it, I actually finished them, and I danced (I have not danced in like forever).
I could have had the same amount of time off of work back home that I would never have had the time to discover all these amazing, hidden things in me.
How could I not be sad about leaving? When this place gave me so much.
I fell in love and now I have to go back, back to my reality, back to my city life, back.
I am excited about seeing my friends and going home and I am looking forward to the last part of my adventure, and the start of a whole new adventure in Portugal.
I have a hope now. A hope of returning someday!
Sometimes dreams do come true, they do, they do!


P.S. Title credits got to Trevor Borden, his songs have been the soundtrack for my trip here, and I just love this one song so much.

Job Update

I don't usually blog two times on the same day. It is ridiculous!
But today I have to, because if you follow my blog you would like to know that I got a job. Sometimes coincidence brings opportunity! It is good to have friends and it is good to share with people, you just never know how much of a blessing they can be in your life.
For those of you who have prayed, thank you, and please keep on praying for everything to go as talked and planned from two different countries.
The Lord is always present, always listening, always caring for the desires of our hearts.
It took me a lot of letting go and I think God honored that. I feel happy!
It is good to return home to a job and not to complete uncertainty!
My stress level went way down, maybe nothing will burst this time.
This was really an answer of prayer, we have all been praying here for it, and I know so have people back in Portugal. Amen!

" And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will be given what you ask for. Keep on looking, and you will find.Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks finds. And the door is opened to everyone who knocks."(Luke 11:9-10)


I just came back from a lovely dinner by the fire at the land, with friends, fun and presents. My day could not have been better than it was.
There are some days you treasure and today is that kind of day!
I even made smores, and those were yummy!
Life sure is grand, and I love the smell of Africa and firewood and smoke on me!!!!


Commit you plans to the Lord and then you will succeed.(Proverbs:16:3)

Dear Me:

Dear Me:

I am writing to you this letter now, because I am pretty sure when you go back to Portugal you won't feel so brave. You will maybe start doubting yourself, or let those voices in your head have the best of you.
So Tehur, my dear, when you start doubting your capacities on dealing with any challenge that should, will, could come up, remember Africa:

You DROVE a Land Cruiser on the other side of the world, and did not KILL anyone or damage the car.

You went looking for leopards and you were NOT scared when Mr.Cerval Cat showed up.

You peed outside, in the bush,in choo's that would make your grandma cringe in horror, in front of people, in the dark out in the wild and guess what...YOU SURVIVED!

You camped in the middle of nowhere, in the rain, thunder, wind and even though once or twice you had to sing Amazing Grace to soothe yourself because you were scared, you DID NOT cry once:P

You learned words in a new language and practiced with random people everywhere.

You HIKED for 6 and a half hours without complaining, or anyone carrying you and you actually enjoyed it.

You rode on the Land Cruiser's roof through the bumpy, dusty African roads, strapped by a rope, singing songs and you are here to tell the STORY!

You started playing the PIANO again and you actually don't totally suck.

You started WRITING AGAIN, blogging, stories, and books, even though it freaks you out to be bad at it.

You jumped on a trampolines for the first time, high up and you actually had fun.

You had tea in a dark, maasai hut made of mud and manure in a typically maasai village and never felt happier!

You had lunch in another Maasai house, with people you had never met and loved them so much, and their stories.

You threw yourself in a pond and gave swimming a chance:P

You walked bare foot, held a chameleon, wore kekois and felt the sun on your face and the warm earth under your feet, you LIVED!

So whatever it is that might scare you in the future, make you doubt yourself, make you feel like you cannot do it... Think about Africa...Smile...and just go for it!...Because you can! Because I believe in you!

Weddings, People, Vanilla and Hazelnut Tea and Love, Loads Of Love!

It's Sunday!
I woke up with the rain hitting against my window, the cold breeze. There is something magical about staying in bed when it is raining like that, something about lingering in your warm bed, I love it. Soon though I had to get out of bed to go to church, Mr.B made some coffee, even though I had told Lisa I was going to have tea this morning I could not resist the temptation of fresh, nice, yummy coffee.
When we arrived at church we found out there was gonna be a wedding in the service( that is again one of the amazing things about Africa), a wedding! I had a blast, a taste of an African wedding, lovely! I was blessed.It was just like a western wedding, except people were dressed way more fancy, and it was much more heart warming.
We had a lovely lunch at a Chinese restaurant, with a couple that are friends with the Borden's. They are really nice and sweet couple, and it was so nice to have met them and their cute kids. Some of the faces that are written on my heart.
I am now sitting at home, writing on my blog and sipping heaven from a cup of tea.
The most amazing tea I have ever had.
Vanilla and Hazelnut with a taste of ginger, cinnamon and cardamon. I am in love with it!
Add to this Sunday recipe a lot of love,and Mr. Trevor Borden's music and you will have a sense of what my Sunday has been like...Heaven!
Everyone should have a Sunday like this, everyone should enjoy time to relax, everyone should come to Africa, everyone should...LIVE!
I have my bags to pack, my room here to tidy, my teaching shelf to go through, but right now I am just gonna enjoy my peaceful moment and think about my little zen quote on my tea "Let your heart be your guide".
My heart tells me to relax, and enjoy, and sip my tea with calmness, and listen to my music, because it might be the last time, I actually have time to enjoy life, in a simple way, before I hit the street lights in Portugal!
I am thankful for this day,so thankful, if I were to die tomorrow I am pretty sure I would be ok with it. Of course there are a bunch of things I haven't done, but I sure did a lot of new fun things here, and actually LIVED. So then I guess I would be ok, it's no fun to die if you have never lived, but I have lived, maybe not to the fullest, but to some amazing degree. My soul rejoices in that, my heart is glad!
So here is a little tea message for you all...The beauty in you, is in your spirit!!!!!
I feel beautiful!