Moments

I don´t usually like writing about family.
For all these years I haven´t really have been given any thought about it.
My family after my mom passed away sort of got scattered around 3 different continents and I just had to deal with that fact and suck it up.
I guess I could say I chose my family the second time around, God is kind that way, he allowed me to hand pick the family I wish I could have and actually get to enjoy being part of it.
I felt secure and loved by the Fernandes family like I had never had felt in my own family. Again, I never even thought too much about it.
Today my "sister" turned 19 and as I was sitting there with the whole family, being part of their lives, their laughs, their happiness and joy I felt truly blessed.
All I wanted to do was hug them and never let go.
I had built this cover that I needed no family to be happy, I had good friends and that should be enough, because people have a way of failing you somehow, but as I was there I could only think about the many times I had failed them this past 5 years and not once they gave up on me.
Most people could and would have done it, but they never did.
My sister has heard me cry and laugh many times and not once she turned me down or didn´t have a kind word to say to me, even if she had to tell me how wrong I was before.
My younger sister brightens my day, she makes me laugh all the time and is really good at keeping secrets. She in some ways reminds me of myself.
My "mom" is the one I run to for advice and for assurance of who I am in God when I have lost sight of it in the mist of my overwhelming feelings. She believes in me, when I don´t.
And my "dad", oh I love my dad. We don´t get to sit and talk as much as I would love to, but I don´t think we really need that. He looks at me and that look speaks more than a thousand conversations. He keeps me on track, and I am not quite sure he is even aware of it.
I can assure that I have been on the right path because of him these years.
Respect is the foundation, so words are really not necessary.
They are not the only ones though, the Catarino and the Fernandes family are a big, big family and I love them all dearly, they all have influenced me and impacted my life in such a way, it is hard to describe in words.
I wish I could only express it in a way that people could understand.
The best thing I can say is that if God would let you chose the family you were born into, I would choose them, without a doubt
I am the adopted daughter, sister, grandaughter, cousin, niece and I adore it.
A I was looking at my sister today on her birthday, seeing her smile and laugh I felt so lucky and so blessed to be able to part of that.
I was part of something bigger than myself, part of a family, part of love.
My dear sisters are both leaving this year, one to college, the other for an exchange year in the States. We grew up together and it feels weird that I won´t have them around.
For a little bit I freaked out, I felt like I was "losing" something.
But you can´t lose family, family is forever, family never ever lets go, family sticks together, supports each other, family, family, family. That word just feels good.

God is kind that way...I see God every single time look at my "family" and isn´t that just awesome?